The other day I walked in on my roommate while I was masturbating. - Nick Thune

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Quote of the day

You will learn to enjoy the process. . . and to surrender your need to control the result. You will discover the joy of practising your creativity. The process, not the product, will become your focus.

Nick Thune

The other day I walked in on my roommate while I was masturbating.

Day, Masturbating, Roommate, Walked

Same Author Quotes

Wouldn't the world be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes?

Blind, People, Place, World

In my senior year of high school, I was working at a dealership washing cars. For some reason, I asked them to give me a shot as a salesman for a shift. What happened was I sold two cars in one day and they offered me the position. After a while I decided I didn't want the job and so I told the manager I'd contracted HIV from having unprotected sex. It was only half true but I'd been feeling sick and somehow convinced myself I was really dying. I remember I sat in my boss' office, the both of us crying. Later than night he calls my dad and says 'I'm sorry your son has HIV. ' It was terrible.

Jobs, Night, Senior, Sex, True

You need to update your blog a couple of times a week. You need to post a Twitter here and there. It feels so dumb to say that stuff, but it's important for me to keep that presence going.

Couple, Dumb, Important, Post, Presence, Week

People can write jokes five minutes after a major world event happens, and have hundreds of thousands of people read them within 10 minutes. Whereas before you write a joke, you don't know if anybody is really touching on it or not, and you tell it onstage the next night. For joke writing it has changed things.

Joke, Jokes, Know, Night, People, Writing

I have a wife and anything. That's the arrangement we have. I have a wife, and she's cool. And also I have anything I want.

Arrangement, Arrangements, Cool, Want, Wife

Similar Quotes

Judd Nelson

I was living in New York, so I just rode my motorcycle up to the set [of New Jack City]. So first day of work for me was kind of tough. I get ready to get off my bike, and I'm surrounded by the security guards, who were Louis Farrakhan's Nation Of Islam guys. Who had the double-breasted suits and guns. And this guy goes, "Where you goin'?" And I said, "I'm here to work. " And they said, "No you're not. " And I said, "Yeah. I'm here to work on the movie. " And they said, "No you're not. Get on your bike. "

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Jon Stewart

Divorce isn't caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness.

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Julia Cameron

Creativity, Enjoy, Focus, Joy, Process

Wim Wenders

Of course the French are making very credible movies and it is still one of the greatest nations in terms of world cinema but the real problem is the decay in film criticism.

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Geoff Davis

You know that I am living proof that the American Dream is real. Growing up, our congressman cut through government bureaucratic red tape to help my mom buy our first house. That's the kind of congressman I'll be.

Dream, Growing Up, Know, Mom