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A lot of times I play a fat woman with cats who has no boyfriends. And in real life, I'm allergic to cats and I've had a boyfriend since college.

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Milton Jones

It's difficult isn't it, when you're in a Mosque and everyone's praying and you really enjoy leapfrog.

Difficult, Funny, Humor, Leapfrog, Mosque, Mosques
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If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!

Dog, Fire, Funny, Humor, Tunnel

You know the animal that kills the most people in the world? The Hepatitis Bee.

Animal, Bee, Funny, Humor, Kills, World

As a child I watched Mary Poppins so many times I suffered from a condition with my sight. Umdiddleiddleiddleumdiddle Eye.

Child, Children, Funny, Humor, Mary, Times

Sometimes I wonder what my grandfather would think of what I do, he spent his whole life in the kebab business, was buried with all his equipment, probably turning in his grave.

Funny, Humor, Kebab, Probably, Thinking, Wonder

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices to pay for my education. . . because they were both druids.

Education, Funny, Humor, Parents, Sacrifice, Said
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