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If people want a sense of purpose they should get it from their archbishop. They should certainly not get it from their politicians.

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Dana Carvey

I have this dream life where I get to be a celebrity but I get to navigate the world fairly easily because I'm always in character.

Dream, Character, World, Fairly, Celebrity
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If I only ran when nothing hurt, I would never run.

Hurt, Nothing, Ran, Run, Running

A mom and dad found an S&M magazine under their 10-year-old son's bed, and the dad said, 'Well, we sure can't spank him. '

Bed, Dad, Mom, Said, Son, Spank

I have no regrets. I wanted to raise the kids and be a present father. When I developed a movie, I was gone for a year. That didn't really work for me. That isn't fair to make these life-forms and then disappear.

Disappear, Father, Gone, Kids, Regret, Work

You know, sometimes you can't just take an armadillo, put it in the barn, light it on fire and expect it to make licorice.

Barns, Expect, Fire, Light

If she were a President, she'd be Babe-raham Lincoln!

Babe, Ifs, Lincoln, President
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