If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then … - Mitch Hedberg - Quotesmemo.com

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[Freud's] great strength, though sometimes also his weakness, was the quite extraordinary respect he had for the singular fact. . . When he got hold of a simple but significant fact he would feel, and know, that it was an example of something general or universal, and the idea of collecting statistics on the matter was quite alien to him.

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Mitch Hedberg

If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a non-alcoholic.

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I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.

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Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?

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I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait".

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I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

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When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

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Karl Lagerfeld

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I don't have prejudices. I'm against taboos. But of course there are some things I'll never touch - because as a mom, there are things one doesn't want their children to be around.

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Adam Baldwin

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Flannery O'Connor

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Ernest Jones

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[Freud's] great strength, though sometimes also his weakness, was the quite extraordinary respect he had for the singular fact. . . When he got hold of a simple but significant fact he would feel, and know, that it was an example of something general or universal, and the idea of collecting statistics on the matter was quite alien to him.

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