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My mind is like a gyre and odd juxtapositions happen.

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Artie Lange

Eddie Murphy said once in an interview that nothing is offensive if it's funny. I sort of agree with that, but if something's funny and you're the subject of it, sometimes it's more offensive. If someone's insulting you, you want them to sound like an idiot.

Eddie, Idiot, Insulting, Sound, Subject, Want
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.

Life, Part, Whiskey

A-Rod wants to be like Babe Ruth. And people don't realize this, he's a lot like Babe Ruth. Before the playoffs a couple of years ago, A-Rod went to the hospital and promised a dying kid he'd ground out to second for him.

Baseball, Couple, Like, Ruth, Sports, Years

If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?

Gps, Mike, Tyson, Use, Voice

Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.

Cool, Drug, Drugs, Ems, Hate

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

Drink, Drinking, Point, Sometimes
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