At some point in my life I'd honestly hoped love would rescue me from the cold, drafty castle I lived in. But at another point, much earlier I think, I'd quietly begun to hope for nothing at all in the way of love, so as not to be disappointed. It works. It gets to be a habit.
At the exact moment any decision seems to be being made, it's usually long after the real decision was actually made--like light we see emitted from stars.