It's important to recognize your own self-destructive behavior and be honest about it. You're only hurting yourself or losing out on your truth and happiness. I'm not afraid to face my own personal stuff. It's so important to dig it up and figure it out and move on.
The very fact that God has placed a certain soul in our way is a sign that God wants us to do something for him or her. It is not chance; it has been planned by God. We are bound by conscience to help him or her.