I've got a friend who is half-Jewish and half-Italian. If he can't buy it wholesale, he steals it! - Jackie Mason

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We have spent the better part of the last fifty years being inundated by advertising, being told that we will be happier if we get more stuff. But that's been backfiring recently.

Jackie Mason

I've got a friend who is half-Jewish and half-Italian. If he can't buy it wholesale, he steals it!

Buy, Friend, Half, Italian, Stealing, Wholesale

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You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man?. . . Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.

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A schmuck is a general term of disrespect. It's a term of contempt and derision. It applies to a lot of people.

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Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!

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The main problem with the Democrats is their utter negativity. They're made up of schumucks and hypocrites. They also have higher levels of immorality.

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Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?

Accountant, Accountants, Hear, Kid, Kids, Wanted

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