Mankind does not drink alcohol because there are breweries, distilleries, and vineyards; men brew beer, distill spirits, and grow grapes because of the demand for alcoholic drinks.
Grief is nature’s most powerful aphrodisiac.
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.
A fashion plate, a rock star in his own mind, Megamind is more showman than deadly menace.
Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.
Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know
Aren't we all striving to be overpaid for what we do?
The best way to boost the economy is to redistribute wealth downward, as poorer people tend to spend a higher proportion of their income.
I'm trying to have my own thing, and I don't know if it's even possible. I didn't realize so many people actually think I'm trying to be like my dad. I read comments like 'She's no Elvis. ' I'm not trying to be. I never set out to be
I’m alone with the ghost of the swamp, somewhere near the weeping willows.
It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy.