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This business of really knowing people, deep down, including your own self, it is not something you can learn in school or from a book. It takes your whole being to do it—your eyes and your ears, your brain and your heart. Maybe your heart most of all. —Bobby Goodspeed

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Richard Jeni

We would need less gun control if we had better birth control.

Birth, Birth Control, Control, Gun, Needs
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A bunch of bong-smoking, America-bashing, flag-burning, yoga-posing, incense-burning, dolphin-saving, salmon-eating hypocrites. These are the sensitive, liberal people who are always yelling about people's freedom of speech and expression, unless you happen to say something that pisses them off.

America, Hypocrite, Liberal, Speech, Unless, Yoga

In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.

Dream, Life, May, Nightmare, Nightmares, True

The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

Charles, Differences, Looks, Manson, Nut, Nuts

A bunch of money-grubbin', greenhouse-gasing, seal-clubbing, oil-drilling, Bible-thumping, missile-firing, right-to-life-ing, lethal-injecting hypocrites. People whose idea of a good time is strapping a dead panda to a Lincoln Navigator and running over everybody in the gay parade.

Gay, Hypocrite, Idea, Panda, Running

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.

Day, Each Day, Lasts, Life, Live
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