I am no kind of philanthropist or humanitarian, but it is really nice to get those emails from … - Jeff Dunham

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You can be in this business 50 years and still not know anything about it.

Jeff Dunham

I am no kind of philanthropist or humanitarian, but it is really nice to get those emails from all over the world of people who said, I had nothing to laugh at or my son was really sick or my husband is really sick and we put on your DVDs and we laughed, thanks for making the real world go away for a little while.

Husband, Nice, Real, Son, Thanks

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When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show.

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Up until college age I was using the typical little-boy dummy that sits on the knee and makes woodpecker jokes. My first original character didn't happen until later, and that was Jose the Jalapeno on a Stick.

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I've tried the female thing. I was in a movie called Dinner for Schmucks a couple of years ago with Steve Carell and I created a female character for that movie. And after a few months of trying her out on the road it just didn't work. I mean, I can think like a terrorist, I can think like a white trash guy, I can even try and think like an African American, but I can't figure out how a woman.

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A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things.

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