You know, civil rights is great and everything, but a lot of people don't realize that plumbers in … - Andy Kindler

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The war is ending, for the first time in the history of relations between Moscow and Grozny, and the era of peace is starting.

Andy Kindler

You know, civil rights is great and everything, but a lot of people don't realize that plumbers in the South make less money than when they used to install separate drinking fountains.

Drinking, Install, Know, People, Rights

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People are trying so hard to become famous. Johnny Marbles, he tried to throw a pie in Rupert Murdoch's face. What do I gotta do, give Sumner Redstone a wedgie?

Face, Giving, People, Pie, Rupert, Sumner

Maybe Bill Maher should just practice his monologue a few times before the show, so he wouldn't find it so hilarious. But I kid the asshole.

Bill, Bills, Kids, Maher, Practice, Times

I don't believe in burning holy books, but I am organizing a protest. I'll be burning all my Dennis Miller VHS cassettes as a special protest. I don't want to hear the introduction 'you may have seen our next comedian on the Hannity show'.

Believe, Book, Comedian, Introduction, Vhs

Ever since I've switched to the clean syringes, I've never felt better in my entire life.

Clean, Entire, Felt, Switched, Syringes

I get some acting jobs. I like it other than the constant slipping in and out of character.

Acting, Character, Constant, Jobs

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Gwyneth Paltrow

Even actresses that you really admire, like Reese Witherspoon, you think, 'Another romantic comedy?' You see her in something like 'Walk the Line' and think, 'God, you're so great!' And then you think, 'Why is she doing these stupid romantic comedies?' But of course, it's for money and status.

Epic, Funny, See, Stupid, Think

Jack Welch

Leadership is helping other people grow and succeed. it is not just about you. It's all about them. . . . everyone deserves a chance. . . . you can never let yourself be a victim.

Grow, Helping, Helping Others, Let, People, Succeed

Lillian Hellman

the convictions of Hollywood and television are made of boiled money.

Boiled, Conviction, Hollywood, Television

Aslan Maskhadov

The war is ending, for the first time in the history of relations between Moscow and Grozny, and the era of peace is starting.

Eras, Grozny, Moscow, Starting, Time, War

George W. Bush

If someone came to me and said, "Your strategy in your post-presidency is brilliant," as if I had figured out a way to make me look better, to me, that analysis is amusing.

Analysis, Brilliant, Look, Looks, Strategy, Way