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Why do you have to retire at 65? Why can't you start at 70? You know, like wine. Why can't music be that way? My new band, we're playing stuff that's never been done before.

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Calvin Trillin

Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.

Fractions, Know, People, Three, Trouble
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Many Texas barbecue fanatics have a strong belief in the beneficial properties of accumulated grease.

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The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

Found, Funny, Mom, Mother, Mothers Day, Thirty

As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

Butler, Everyone, Inspirational, Sound, Writing

In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while his article is still on the presses.

America, Come, Events, Pass, Write, Writing

Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically.

Answers, Convince, Math, Subject, Teacher
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