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Never regret something, because at one point everything you did was exactly what you wanted to do. And sometimes that's the hardest thing to realize.

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Yakov Smirnoff

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.

American, Comedy, Dream, Girl, Russian, Sexually
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I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.

Believe, Happiness, Language, Laughter, Live

In every country, they make fun of city. In U. S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.

City, Cleveland, Country, Fun, Make, Russia

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

Channel, Funny, Russia, Turn, Two

In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!

Break, Brother, Law, Russia, Soviet, Watch

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

Funny, Happiness, Laughs, Laughter, Same
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