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I will not do festivals. The thought of an audience that big frightens the life out of me.

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Bo Burnham

I don't like calling myself a "feminist" only because I don't think I've done anything active enough to call myself one. It'd be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I'm not racist.

Activist, Call, Done, Feminist, Rights, Thinking
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Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it's really fun to do and Oprah's on it.

Crystals, Fun, Funny, Humor, Meth, Twitter

I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost. . . my virginity.

Actually, Funny, Humor, Lost, School, Virginity

No one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you.

Believe, Believe In You, Doe, Entertains, Thought

Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.

Book, Good Book, Pussy, Yeah

Love is all about. . . whistles.

Love, Love Is, Whistles
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