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Nobody in the United States knows what either a "meter" or a "kilogram" is. The whole reason why we fought the Cold War was so we wouldn't have to learn the metric system.

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Michael Thomas Ford

And it’s not like I’ve never jacked off. I’m fifteen years old. Of course I do it. Any guy who says he doesn’t is lying. That would be like having the coolest video game ever and never playing it. No one’s that stupid.

Coolest, Course, Having, Lying, Stupid, Years
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I'm still kind of a mess. But I think we all are. No one's got it all together. I don't think you ever do get it totally together. Probably if you did manage to do it you'd spontaneously combust. I think that's a law of nature. If you ever manage to become perfect, you have to die instantly before you ruin things for everyone else.

Thinking, Law, Perfect, Manage, Die

How come someone always saves the people who try to kill themselves and then makes them tell everyone how sorry they are for ruining their evening? I keep feeling like everyone wants me to apologize for something. but I'm not going to. I don't have anything to apologize for. They're the ones who screwed everything up. Not me. I didn't ask to be saved.

Ask, Evening, Feelings, Like, People, Sorry

Personally, I think they killed the bear because they were afraid of it. That s what people do, kill the things they re afraid of.

Bear, Bears, People, Personally, Thinking

Anyone can be crazy. That's usually just because there's something screwed up in your wiring, you know? But suicide is a whole different thing. I mean, how much do you have to hate yourself to want to just wipe yourself out?

Suicide, Hate, Crazy, Wipe, Usually, Know

Let me tell something, seeing your name and psychiatric ward on the same piece of paper isn't the best way to start your day.

Names, Pieces, Paper, Seeing, Let
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