A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!" - Henny Youngman

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Quote of the day

Christ desires his mysteries to be published abroad as widely as possible. I would that [the Gospels and the epistles of Paul] were translated into all languages, of all Christian people, and that they might be read and known.

Henny Youngman

A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"

Funny, Humor, Man, Men, Nobody, Says

Same Author Quotes

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

Faults, Funny, Men, Think, Thinking

Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.

Divorced, Experts, House, Housekeeper, Keeps, Time

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. . . You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Forget, Know, Married, Way, Wife

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

Back, Family, Funny, Inspirational, Took, Trip

The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner.

Dinner, Littles, Usual, Way, Wine

Similar Quotes

Carolyn Wheat

One key to the distinction between mystery and suspense writing involves the relative positions of hero and reader. In the ideal mystery novel, the readers is two steps behind the detective. . . . The ideal suspense reader, on the other hand, is two steps ahead of the hero.

Hand, Hero, Key, Keys, Positions, Writing

William Tyndale

Christian, Desire, Paul, People, Widely

Tom DeLonge

Most bands, if something goes wrong, they cower and walk off stage and fire people.

Band, Bands, Fire, People, Walk

David Katz

Balanced, sensible nutrition: eat food, not too much, mostly plants, a healthy diet ala Michael Pollan, modern physical activity on a daily basis, modest weight loss - translated into a 58% reduction in the occurrence of diabetes. A clear indication of the power of lifestyle over health. The challenge now is the development of the community-based programs that will translate what we learned in the diabetes prevention program and put it to work in every town in America.

Challenges, Clear, Health, Healthy, Loss, Reduction

William Bird

The natural environment is the great outpatient department where we can go for healing

Department, Environment, Healing, Natural, Nature, Outpatient