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The Internet revolution is going to be like all the other revolutions we have seen in history. It's going to be over before a lot of us even know it started.

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Gilbert Gottfried

Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny.

Funny, Happens, Ifs, Person, Persons
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I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive.

Offensive, Osama Bin Laden, Sexy, Top, Understand

I think of Alan Thicke as Perry Como without the excitement.

Alan, Como, Excitement, Perry, Thicke, Thinking

I'd like to have a kid, but I'd probably get a Frank Sinatra Jr. instead of a Gilbert Gottfried Jr. I'd totally screw up like that.

Frank, Instead, Kids, Like, Screw Ups, Sinatra

Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach. The beach comes to them.

Advanced, Beach, Japan

I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.

Act, Onstage, People, Sometimes, Years
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