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In 2nd grade, a girl who was a friend of mine gave me a homemade valentine. Like, a real, handwritten one!

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John Oliver

News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.

Car, Game, Games, Happen, News, Winning
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When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.

Dealing, Knows, Pressure, Serious Subjects, Subjects

Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word.

Congratulations, Disapproval, English, Language, May, Offensive

The only thing I'm nervous about is talking to guests like human beings, because all of my interviews so far have been attacking people. I have a genuine concern about sitting across from an actor whose movies I obviously haven't seen.

Across, Attacking, Genuine Concern, Movies, People, Talking

You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.

Racist, Same, Sonically, Sound, Think, Thinking

I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.

Americans, Authority, Long, Think, Thinking, Voice
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