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I had no intention of becoming a comedian. I just wanted to make people happy. I tried everything-I shucked oysters, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners. But there was always a voice saying, You should be doing something different. And it was usually my boss and I was being fired.

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Jerry Lewis

I have nothing against women. As a matter of fact there's something about them that I love, but I just can't put my finger on it.

Fact, Facts, Matter, Nothing, Women
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You might as well like yourself; just think about all the time you're gonna have to spend with you.

Gonna, Like, Like You, Might, Think, Thinking

If you think childlike, you'll stay young. If you keep your energy going, and do everything with a little flair, you're gunna stay young. But most people do things without energy, and they atrophy their mind as well as their body. You have to think young, you have to laugh a lot, and you have to have good feelings for everyone in the world, because if you don't, it's going to come inside, your own poison, and it's over.

Childlike, Laugh, Laughing, People, Things, Thinking

For those who understand, no explaination is needed. . . For those who don't, none will do.

Explaination, Needed, Understand

People say, "How would you like to be remembered?" I don't want to be remembered. Gimme a break. What I want is to hear what's great about me now. Let me hear it! In the box you don't hear these eulogies.

Eulogy, Gimme, Like, People, Want

When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.

Dad, Daddy, Father, Fathers Day, Take, Zoos
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