Parenting can be established as a time-share job, but mothers are less good "switching off" their parent identity … - Terri E Apter

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The size of your key ring is the size of your headaches. Si Redd once told me, "Every time you buy something you sell a piece of yourself. " Why? Because you have to maintain it, to insure it, to worry about it. So the more you buy, the more you sell a piece of yourself and pretty soon you get so thin you can't do anything. So get rid of all those things and get back to the basics. Everybody has his own basics: it's what he enjoys. Si Redd told me I would "arrive" when I got down to one key. Still working on that!

Terri E Apter

Parenting can be established as a time-share job, but mothers are less good "switching off" their parent identity and turning to something else. Many women envy the father's ability to set clear boundaries between home and work, between being an on-duty and an off-duty parent. . . . Women work very hard to maintain a closeness to their child. Father's value intimacy with a child, but often do not know how to work to maintain it.

Child, Children, Identity, Jobs, Mother, Parenting

Same Author Quotes

When a mother quarrels with a daughter, she has a double dose of unhappiness-hers from the conflict, and empathy with her daughter's from the conflict with her. Throughout her life a mother retains this special need to maintain a good relationship with her daughter.

Conflict, Daughter, Good, Good Relationship, Mother, Quarrels

Adolescents swing from euphoric self-confidence and a kind of narcissistic strength in which they feel invulnerable and even immortal, to despair, self-emptiness, self-deprecation. At the same time they seem to see an emerging self that is unique and wonderful, they suffer an intense envy which tears narcissism into shreds, and makes other people's qualities hit them like an attack of lasers.

Euphoric, Kind, Self Confidence, Shreds, Swings, Unique

One of the main tasks of adolescence is to achieve an identity--not necessarily a knowledge of who we are, but a clarification ofthe range of what we might become, a set of self-references by which we can make sense of our responses, and justify our decisions and goals.

Achieve, Decision, Goal, Goals, Justify, Self

Adolescence has been recognised as a stage of human development since medieval times--long, long before the industrial revolution--and, as it is now, has long been seen as a phase which centers on the fusion of sexual and social maturity. Indeed, adolescence as a concept has as long a history as that of puberty, which is sometimes considered more concrete, and hence much easier to name and to recognize.

Concrete, Long, Maturity, Names, Stage

Preoccupied with her self, the adolescent sees enormous changes, whereas the parent sees the child she knew all along. For the parent, new developments are superficial and evanescent. For the adolescent, they are thrilling and profound.

Changes, Children, Evanescent, Parent, Profound, Self