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Every heart is the lair of a ferocious animal. The greatest wrong that you can put upon a man is to provoke him to let out his beast.

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Mike Birbiglia

People getting along doesn't sell very well in the news. I find that to be deeply depressing. I don't even talk about it on stage, because it would take too long to explain.

Depressing, Explain, Long, People, Stage, Talk
Same Author Quotes

I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.

Dated, Girl, Littles, Met, Thinking, Used

I think if anything, the fact that it's popular right now makes me go: "Well, I guess I'm going to start doing something else then in the next few years. " I dunno, it almost feels hackneyed at this point. To start a premise by saying, "I did this awkward thing. " But then again, awkwardness and feeling alienated are always going to be a part of comedy. Alienation, I suppose, can't be hackneyed because it will always exist.

Thinking, Awkward, Feelings, Guess, Awkwardness, Premise

Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have "plans.

Night, People, Perfect, Saturday, Writers

The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.

Keys, Healthy, Tvs, Eating, Food

What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.

Funny, Humor, Math, Money, Understand, Woman
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