Teaching is the rare profession where the customer isn't always right and needs to be told so appropriately.
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.
You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
Most people only do what they are asked to do; success comes to those who do a little more.
Hate does not produce love, and by hate one cannot remake the world.
She answered by standing and kissing him first and held his cheeks and closed her eyes and felt sure as bones and deep as blood that she had found her place.
Saving our planet, lifting people out of poverty, advancing economic growth these are one and the same fight. We must connect the dots between climate change, water scarcity, energy shortages, global health, food security and women's empowerment. Solutions to one problem must be solutions for all.