Trying harder doesn’t always equal more success; it leads to more frustration, less satisfaction, and giving up.
You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon. '
Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty. '
I banked my life on a miracle.
Our willingness to believe the news is, in many cases, not entirely innocent.
Because of the fashion, the young people don't have any access to the history of music, unless people like me revive it. There are very few people to revive it, because you can't earn any money doing it.
In the real world, it is hard to be taken seriously as a woman. Use your brain and be smart about your choices. There's nothing wrong with being a good girl - it's actually very attractive and sexy.