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I always tape my Christmas show in advance. That way I can spend the season of joy and goodwill with my only sister in Florida. She’s kinda a creep but she’s got a pool.

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George Bernard Shaw

Religion is a good invention in times of stress.

Invention, Religion, Stress, Times
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Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.

False, Hunting, Ignorance, Knowledge

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Creating, Finding, Inspirational, Life, Motivational

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.

Funny, Humorous, Invents, Motivational, Optimists, Pessimist

It is not that I am so clever; it is that everyone else is so stupid.

Clever, Everyone, Stupid, Stupidity

No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.

Body, Fat, Loss, Office, Running
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