When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter. … - Henny Youngman

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Quote of the day

Gratitude is the beginning of civility, of decency and goodness, of a recognition that we cannot afford to be arrogant. We should walk with the knowledge that we will need help every step of the way.

Henny Youngman

When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter. "

Ask, Give, Giving, Restaurants, Tables, Waiter

Same Author Quotes

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

Faults, Funny, Men, Think, Thinking

Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.

Divorced, Experts, House, Housekeeper, Keeps, Time

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. . . You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Forget, Know, Married, Way, Wife

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

Back, Family, Funny, Inspirational, Took, Trip

The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner.

Dinner, Littles, Usual, Way, Wine

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Aleksandar Hemon

It's not that war crimes stop as soon as a novel about them is published. Literature operates slowly, it is always inching toward bliss, never quite getting there.

Bliss, Literature, Never Quit, Slowly, Stop, War

Warren MacKenzie

We had a wonderful trip, a seven-day trip, talking and sitting in the sun and so forth [with Bernard Leach]. And as we were approaching England, Leach said, "Do you have a place to live?" And we said, "No, we didn't. " We hadn't worried about that. But Bernard had just separated from his second wife, which we had not realized, and Bernard was a person who could not stand to live alone. So he said, "Would you like to share my house with me?" Naturally we said yes.

House, Person, Said, Stand, Talking, Wife

Gordon B. Hinckley

Gratitude is the beginning of civility, of decency and goodness, of a recognition that we cannot afford to be arrogant. We should walk with the knowledge that we will need help every step of the way.

Arrogant, Gratitude, Needs, Recognition, Way

J.R. Ward

Jane: Focus is important. V: Only if you're a microscope.

Focus, Important, Jane, Microscope, Microscopes

John Walter Bratton

Walk a little slower, Dad Cos I am only small. I'm following in your footsteps, And I don't want to fall. Someday when I'm all grown up. You're what I want to be; Then I will have a little child, Who'll want to follow me. And I would want to lead just right, And know that I was true; So, walk a little slower, Dad, For I must follow you. A very very very Happy Birthday Dad

Children, Dad, Fall, Grown, Small, Someday