here in the summer desert, winter found my blood
I didn't really have a major role in how it was described. I wanted it to be a collection of essays where each storyline could be contained.
I was re-experiencing these things that happened a long time ago, and I'm trying to relive it now, and I'm bringing all of my current motivations and personality into that which were not there at the time. It's hard to remember exactly who I was when I was ten, fifteen.
I don't do the like, "This led to this, and this was why this happened. " That doesn't feel real and isn't how I experience things.
I wanted each different Chelsea to be able to navigate her own world without having to also speak to a larger narrative.
When I was going through the stuff with my dad and thinking about terms like restraining order and domestic violence, I was really just searching for a way to define what I was going through. I didn't really understand what it meant to disown a parent or not want to have a parent in your life. Even the word parent was confusing to me because my father came into my life so late in my teen years.
I think I've been able to express some of the more complicated feelings I had.
Dumb jewels often, in their silent kind, more than quick words, do move a woman's mind.
I like what I do. Some writers have said in print that they hated writing and it was just a chore and a burden. I certainly don't feel that way about it. Sometimes it's difficult. You know, you always have this image of the perfect thing which you can never achieve, but which you never stop trying to achieve. But I think. . . that's your signpost and your guide. You'll never get there, but without it you won't get anywhere.
There's absolutely no sort of acknowledgment or reward for this - except for the intangible of my kids growing up to be wonderful people.
Do I want someone to get more hits than me? No. Do I want someone to hit more home runs than me? No. Do I want someone to have more RBI than me? No. I get a kick out of seeing the all-time leaders and my name's on top of every one, with the exception of strikeouts. I get a kick out of that.