I’m not a romantic, I’m a half-wit. Only stupid people would think I’m smart. I’m not something anyone … - Daniel Handler

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Actually, I would love to make a music video. Maybe it would finally put to rest those persistent rumours that have followed me throughout my career - particularly when I was on camera performing - that I had died.

Daniel Handler

I’m not a romantic, I’m a half-wit. Only stupid people would think I’m smart. I’m not something anyone should know. I’m a lunatic wandering around for scraps, I’m like every single miserable moron I’ve scorned and pretended I didn’t recognize. I’m all of them, every last ugly thing in a bad last-minute costume. I’m not different, not at all, not different from any other speck of a thing. I’m a blemished blemish, a ruined ruin, a stained wreck so failed I can’t see what I used to be.

Single, Smart, Stupid, Thing, Thinking

Same Author Quotes

Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but that doesn't mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold.

Gold, Hundreds, Mean, Steal, Traditional, Years

Dead women tell no tales. Sad men write them down.

Writing, Men, Tales, Down, Dead

It was darker than a pitch-black panther, covered in tar, eating black licorice at the very bottom of the deepest part of the Black Sea.

Black, Covered, Darker, Panthers, Sea

If I were to say, "Yes, I am a fascinating, erudite person," what would that say about me? I don't know.

Persons, Fascinating, Knows, Yes, Erudite

If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!

Ask, Hopeful, Optimism, Say, Voice