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Everyone is always telling me that I must be exhausted, but I've learned how to use my time well, and that includes holidays to recharge. I always try to give myself big chunks of time to think about what the next project is going to be.

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Bob Saget

The secret to raising children is to love them. . . And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.

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I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them

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Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.

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Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And if that doesn't work out for you, Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

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I'm a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?

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My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

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