I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far. '
I have often seen an actor laugh off the stage, but I don't remember ever having seen one weep.
It's better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for someone you're not. It's a sign of your worth sometimes, if you're hated by the right people.
You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say good. . . Joan Crawford is dead. Good.
[On gay men:] Let me say, a more artistic, appreciative group of people for the arts does not exist. . . They are more knowledgeable, more loving of the arts. They make the average male look stupid.
At 50, I thought proudly: Here we are, half century! Being 60 was fairly frightening. You want to know how I spent my 70th birthday? I put on a completely black face, a fuzzy black Afro wig, wore black clothes and hung a black wreath on my door.
If you want a thing done well, get a couple of old broads to do it.
Business is hard, really hard, but it's worth it.
I don't care what your religion is, as long as it doesn't chastise anybody that's not part of it.
The incompetent quickly throws himself into another impressive enterprise in order to escape his responsibility from previous disaster.
Our decisions aren’t just isolated choices. Our decisions point our lives in the directions we’re about to head. Show me a decision and I’ll show you a direction.