Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. He said all we have to do … - Jay Leno

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Whether you're playing a mom on-screen or you're in a car pool lane driving your child to school in the morning, there are similarities that are undeniable. And once you're a mother, there are certain things that are instinct. You just have a better understanding of what it means to be a mother.

Jay Leno

Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. He said all we have to do is find a really rich country like Switzerland and marry it.

Country, Kerry, Plan, Rich Countries, Switzerland

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The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D. C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Christmas, Funny, Religious, Scene, Wise

Today is April 1, April Fools' Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don't confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS.

Confuse, Fools Day, Irs, People, Relatives, Trying

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Come, Epic, Funny, Lottery, Money, Psychic

Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just thought it was an American city because there were so many Mexicans there.

America, Cities, Defense, Juarez, Mexicans, Texas

A hiker who was lost in a blizzard said he stayed alive by digging a snow tunnel and burning dollar bills for warmth. Today he was offered a job as President Obama's economic adviser.

Burning, Economic, Jobs, Said, Snow, Tunnels