If you really want space on public transport you should carry some pornography from the 1970s and a … - Robin Ince

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I've always been something these labels can't buy, especially if they tryna take a piece of my soul.

Robin Ince

If you really want space on public transport you should carry some pornography from the 1970s and a pair of children's safety scissors, then delicately cut out all the eyes of the glamour models whilst whistling. Every now and again mutter, 'Why are women more beautiful when they are eyeless?' You will be able to stretch out, though this can have ramifications such as ending up on a police list or being run out of town.

Beautiful, Children, Cut, Delicately, Running, Town

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My wife could turn to me and she may say, 'Why do you love me?' And I can with all honesty look her in the eye and say, 'Because our pheromones matched our olfactory receptors. '

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Homeopaths do not have a physical brain, but merely 'skull water' with the memory of brains.

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My life is constant revision but it's not revision, a lot of it is for the first time.

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They gave 12 monkeys a typewriter for a week, and after a week, they only used it as a bathroom.

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I am not man or beast; I am bibliosexual, and a seedy bibliosexual who haunts the streets, laden with carrier bags held by blistered fingers, stooping under the weight of the rucksack that has brought on sciatica and a Dickensian demeanour.

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