Five years from now I'm probably going to look back on the things I'm doing and cringe.
I was just surprised when my wife told me we were having a baby. I was like, Wow, that's awesome. You're going to make a great single mom.
I do think certain kinds of music can make you violent. Like, when I listen to Nickelback, it makes me want to kill Nickelback.
I've been trying to quit smoking weed and it's really hard quitting pot. It was actually easier to become a vegetarian because your friends never show up at your house with a sack of beef.
We had our family tree done. . . turns out I'm a quarter gay on my father's side.
If I see a beautiful woman walking down the street, a pretty lady, I'll yell, 'Homo!' She can't get pissed, and I still get the pleasure of yelling at her.
I was such a nerd in high school, I didn't even have imaginary friends, I had imaginary bullies.
I have continued systematically to study the Book of Mormon and Bible to understand even more deeply what God expects of me and my family while on this earth.
It not infrequently happens that persons without any other special qualification than the drama of their lives are precipitated into important political positions.
The first maxim of a man who loves liberty, should be never to grant to rulers an atom of power that is not most clearly and indispensably necessary for the safety and well being of society.
Funny way to spend your life, though, studying another chap's versifying.