I only lie for sex or money or to practice for when I need to lie for sex or money.
The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.
Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.
Only mediocrities rise to the top in a system that won't tolerate wave making.
Fools rush in where wise men fear to trade.
The modern child will answer you back before you've said anything.
Many an optimist has become rich simply by buying out a pessimist.
Although professors regard improving critical thinking as the most important goal of college, tests reveal that seniors who began their studies with average critical thinking skills have progressed only from the 50th percentile of entering freshmen to about the 69th percentile.
Do you work for the government, any government?” "I pay taxes, which means I work for the government, part of the time. Yes.
The stuff that?s most important to me in life can?t be bought ? it can only be earned.
I'm a total one-hour drama addict. I think when you're a comedian, you tend towards dramas because that's the less stressful thing to watch.