An idea or an insight doesn't come from a single happening, it requires a meeting to alter a perspective. Often it takes a while for the events to collide, but when they do it is inevitable that a change will follow.
I think that you have to experience darkness to feel empathy. For all of my failings - and I have many - I do have a complete ability to emphasize with people. And that all goes down to being "other. " When you're young you think otherness is a state only you possess. When you get older you realize, "Actually, there's so many of us. " In that we find community.