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The best fiction is far more true than any journalism.

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Steve Allen

Thousands of years ago only Christ could walk on the water. Today anybody can do it; you just step on the garbage.

Step, Thousands, Today, Water, Years
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One of the nice things about problems is that a good many of them do not exist except in our imaginations.

Exist, Imagination, Imaginations, Nice, Positive, Things

Ours is a government of checks and balances. The Mafia and crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances.

Government, Balance, Mafia, Bank, Balances

Without laughter life on our planet would be intolerable. So important is laughter to us that humanity highly rewards members of one of the most unusual professions on earth, those who make a living by inducing laughter in others. This is very strange if you stop to think of it: that otherwise sane and responsible citizens should devote their professional energies to causing others to make sharp, explosive barking-like exhalations.

Devote, Humanity, Laughter, Members, Stop, Thinking

In a rational society we would want our presidents to be teachers. In our actual society we insist they be cheerleaders.

President, Presidents, Society, Teacher, Teachers, Want

Religious believers of the world, you are free to continue to debate the simple, narrow question that divides you from atheists, but you have no right, in so doing, to treat the Humanists of the world with contempt. You owe them a deep debt of gratitude, for not only have they shed much light on a naturally dark world but they have very probably helped civilize your own specific religion.

Atheist, Gratitude, Question, Religious, Simple, Treat
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