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As a child I was very into gadgets and machines and robots.

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Jimmy Carr

Throwing acid is wrong. . . in some people's eyes.

Acid, Eye, Eyes, Funny, Humor, Wrong
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I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"

Birthday, Fairly, Funny, Humor, Men, Mum

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

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See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Rohypnol

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My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty. "

Alright, Funny, Girlfriend, Humor, Tease

The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly.

Funny, Humor, Impotent, Men, Use, Viagra
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