Same topic Authors
Quote of the day

I haven't fully moved over to the iPad. At any given time, I have about four DVDs in my pocket. I'm constantly screening 'Top Chef,' 'Housewives,' and all the other shows we have in development, racing to meet a deadline. So I pretty much bring my laptop everywhere.

Popular Topics
Soccer, Inspiring, Living My Life, Hip Hop, Period, Stage, Children, World, Leadership, Life Is Like, Poet, Willing, Secret, Comfortable, Name, Life Is Good, Involve, Inspirational Life, Faith, I Like You, Home, Looking For Love, Humbly, Inspired, Fitness, Guru, Culture, Smile, Goodbye, Kids, Loves, Technical, Wisdom, Hope, Inspire, Private Life, Ideas, Philosophy, Quite, Quiet, House, Job, Surprised, Angry, Gold, Adventure, Story, Love You, Journey, English
Demetri Martin

Here is a tip for all you young people drinking wine. With pasta, drink white wine. With steak, drink red wine. And if you're vegan, you're annoying.

Drinking, Funny, Pasta, White, Wine
Same Author Quotes

Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.

Interesting, Magnet, Magnets, Refrigerator, Refrigerators

I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude. ' 'Dude, these are isotopes. ' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine. ' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies. '

Funny, Homies, Humor, Im Sorry, Nobel, Removed

My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.

Funny, Garbage, Garbage Disposal, Humor, Screwed, Turns

I wish I lived next to Carnegie Hall. Then, if someone asked me how to get to my house, I would just say 'Practice, practice, practice, and then take a left. '

Carnegie, House, Practice, Take, Wish

Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.

Cardboard, Essentially, Home, Machines, Sharpie, Speed
Similar Quotes