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The sweetest smiles hold the darkest secrets.

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Les Dawson

I took the wife's family out for tea biscuits. They weren't too happy about having to give blood though.

Blood, Give, Giving, Having, Though, Wife
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The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig.

Down, Fell, Law, Mother, Oil

Everyone has a family tree; the Dawsons have one, it's a weeping willow.

Everyone, Family, Tree, Weeping Willows

I'd like to thank the BBC for allowing me to work here. And I'd like to thank the wife and kids for making it necessary.

Allowing, Bbc, Kids, Like, Thank, Wife

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Funny, Furniture, Hilarious, Life, Sell, Trouble

I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir; we're stock-taking. '

Chamber, Law, Madame, Mother, Moving, Sir
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