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I heard the bells from the future churches, the children playing and laughing in the schoolyards. . . and here was an almond tree in bloom before me: I must reach out and cut a flowering branch. For, by believing passionately in something which still does not exist, we create it. The nonexistent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired, whatever we have not irrigated with our blood to such a degree that it becomes strong enough to stride across the somber threshold of nonexistence.

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David Cross

I have always tried to use humor to "help ever" and "hurt never," for I find that to laugh is like swallowing a secret that Santa Claus farted.

Funny, Humor, Hurt, Santa, Tried, Use
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Back when the Bible was written, then edited, then rewritten, then rewritten, then re-edited, then translated from dead languages, then re-translated, then edited, then rewritten, then given to kings for them to take their favorite parts, then rewritten, then re-rewritten, then translated again, then given to the pope for him to approve, then rewritten, then edited again, the re-re-re-re-rewritten again. . . all based on stories that were told orally 30 to 90 years AFTER they happened. . to people who didnt know how to write. . . so. . .

Back, Bible, Kings, Writing, Written, Years

I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

Embarrassing, Smoking, Subculture, Think, Thinking, Weed

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Having, Jealousy, Like, Peace, War, Winning

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

Book, Firsts, Pages, Read, Six

In New York, you are constantly faced with this very urgent decision that you have to make, about every twenty minutes. . . you have to decide, immediately, you have to go "Ohmigod. Do I look at the most beautiful woman in the world or the craziest guy in the world?"

Beautiful, Decide, Funny, Look, New York, York
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