We can have paid family and medical leave. We can make public colleges and universities tuition-free. These are not revolutionary, radical ideas. They're kind of common sense.
Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.
Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.
No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.
He resisted for a while and there were some legal boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or his family, but in the end, love overcame. And I got what I wanted. I always get what I want.
Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.
I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.
Everybody would like to be good, that's the silly thing, everybody always likes it when they're having a nice time or when they're happy or when it's sunny, they all dig it; but then they go and forget about it, they never really try to make it nice. They think that it just comes along and it's nice if you're lucky, or if you're unlucky it's bad for you.
I think our material is our lives. That's part of being a modern writer, and we have to use it.
When I was four years old they tried to test my IQ, they showed me this picture of three oranges and a pear. They asked me which one is different and does not belong; they taught me different was wrong.
Poor minds talk about people average minds talk about events great minds talk about ideas