It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She … - Frank Carson

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Quote of the day

No torment in the world is comparable to an accusing conscience.

Frank Carson

It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a divorce. " I said: "I wasn't planning on spending that much. "

Divorce, Funny, Humor, Like, Planning, Wife

Same Author Quotes

I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.

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A man walks into a pet shop and says: "Give me a wasp. " The shopkeeper replies: "We don't sell wasps. " He says: "There's one in the window. "

Funny, Give, Humor, Men, Pet, Walks

My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.

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I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals. . . she has NEXT written on her knickers.

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I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: "We are two hours late Mr Carson. " When I asked why, she said: "The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it. "

Air, Asked, Carson, Funny, Hear, Humor

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