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I'm looking for one of two things and sometimes they dovetail: I'm looking to go into a theatre and see a certain kind of show. And if it's not there, I'd like to do it myself so it would be there.

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John Oliver

You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.

Day, Jobs, Jokes, Literally, Point, Writing
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When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.

Dealing, Knows, Pressure, Serious Subjects, Subjects

Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word.

Congratulations, Disapproval, English, Language, May, Offensive

The only thing I'm nervous about is talking to guests like human beings, because all of my interviews so far have been attacking people. I have a genuine concern about sitting across from an actor whose movies I obviously haven't seen.

Across, Attacking, Genuine Concern, Movies, People, Talking

You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.

Racist, Same, Sonically, Sound, Think, Thinking

I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.

Americans, Authority, Long, Think, Thinking, Voice
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