I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, … - Rodney Dangerfield - Quotesmemo.com

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If the question were, "What ought to be the next objective in science?" my answer would be the teaching of science to the young, so that when the whole population grew up there would be a far more general background of common sense, based on a knowledge of the real meaning of the scientific method of discovering truth.

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Rodney Dangerfield

I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.

Different, Fifteen, Happiness, Place, Reality, Writing

Same Author Quotes

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

Beauty, Crazy, Funny, Okay, Told

We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.

Dead, Dog, Play, Roll, Wife

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

Finger, Know, Mouths, Sticks, Ugly

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Funny, Kid, Moved, Moving, Parents, Pregnancy

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

Cook, Dental Floss, Floss, Kitchen, Roaches, Wife

Similar Quotes

Martin Farquhar Tupper

God, from a beautiful necessity, is Love in all he doeth, Love, a brilliant fire, to gladden or consume: The wicked work their woe by looking upon love, and hating it: The righteous find their joys in yearning on its loveliness for ever.

Beautiful, Brilliant, Fire, Hate, Life, Righteous

Matthew Bonifacio

If you pitch your movie to someone and they say, "Oh, please, don't make that. No one would see it. " Do it! Because that means you may have something that's not the norm.

May, Mean, Norm, Pitch, Say

Elihu Thomson

Elihu Thomson

If the question were, "What ought to be the next objective in science?" my answer would be the teaching of science to the young, so that when the whole population grew up there would be a far more general background of common sense, based on a knowledge of the real meaning of the scientific method of discovering truth.

Background, Knowledge, Method, Population, Real, Teaching

Alexander Pushkin

Alexander Pushkin

I've lived to bury my desires and see my dreams corrode with rust now all that's left are fruitless fires that burn my empty heart to dust. Struck by the clouds of cruel fate My crown of Summer bloom is sere Alone and sad, I watch and wait And wonder if the end is near. As conquered by the last cold air When Winter whistles in the wind Alone upon a branch that's bare A trembling leaf is left behind.

Bury, Clouds, Conquered, Dream, Heart, Summer

Billy Connolly

Billy Connolly

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey. . . Doesn't try it on.

Alone, Cosey, Funny, Humor, Men, Tea