I would say that fifty percent of my show is killer comedy.
All problems are finally scientific problems.
Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.
Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.
It is not that I am so clever; it is that everyone else is so stupid.
No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.
Even the disciples of Jesus all fled from their master's cross. Christians who do not have the feeling that they must flee the crucified Christ have probably not yet understood him in a sufficiently radical way.
The soul, light as a feather, fluid as water, innocent as a child, responds to every movement of grace like a floating balloon.
Who asks whether the enemy was defeated by strategy or valor?
Unfortunately, I am not one of those comics where it's guaranteed that I hit it out of the park every time. You know, I am not completely reliable. It's always different, and it's a complete crapshoot whether I'm going to do well.