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I want to start by saying something nice about President Bush. Of all the presidents we've had with the last name of Bush, his economic plan ranks in the top two.

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Sarah Silverman

I became known for surprising audiences. Except now, if I surprise them every time, they expect that.

Audience, Except, Expect, Surprise, Surprising, Time
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Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

Alive, Inability, Keeping, See

Don't tell girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't. It's like saying, 'Hey, when you get in the shower, I'm not gonna read your diary. ' 'Wait--are you gonna read my diary?' 'No! I said I'm not gonna read your diary. Go take a shower!'

Girl, Grow, Growing Up, Read, Said, Waiting

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

Girl, Girls, Grow, Growing Up, Powerful, Telling

I think the difference between being miserable and finding happiness is just a matter of perspective. If you live your life defining yourself by what other people think of you, it's a form of self-torture.

Defining, Difference, Differences, Perspective, Self, Thinking

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

Black, Hated, People, Skill, Skills
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