When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was. - Mitch Hedberg

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Quote of the day

For some strange reason we don't go to charming, light movies anymore. People expect a movie to be heavy and turgid, like "American Beauty. " We've become a heavy-handed society.

Mitch Hedberg

When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.

Bed, Boy, Brother, Funny, Humor, Laid

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I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.

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Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?

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I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait".

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I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

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When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

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For some strange reason we don't go to charming, light movies anymore. People expect a movie to be heavy and turgid, like "American Beauty. " We've become a heavy-handed society.

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Nothing living should ever be treated with contempt. Whatever it is that lives, a man, a tree, or a bird, should be touched gently, because the time is short. Civilization is another word for respect for life.

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