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Surprisingly I've never really stolen anything. One time when I was really young, I was walking down the street, found a GI Joe in the mud, and took it home and I was like, "I got a GI Joe!" And then my great grandmother was like, "You stole that. " I said, "What are you talking about?" and she said, "That's not yours. " I'm like, "But I found it!" She's like, "But it's not yours, and therefore you stole it. " So I just went and put it right back in the mud where I found it.

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Adam Gopnik

Dinner with water is dinner for prisoners

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