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I urge people to learn from the mistakes of others. Please drink responsibly and it's never acceptable to drink and drive!

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Lewis Black

If you don't drink 56 bottles of water a week, scientists say you should take a garden hose at the end of the week and shove it up your ass.

Ass, Drink, Funny, Garden, Humor, Scientists
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Stupid presidents, smart presidents, white presidents, black presidents - doesn't work! What this country needs is a crazy Third World dictator. And Donald Trump has what it takes to be that. He's already got a plane with his name on it, solid gold buildings, a harem. . .

Country, Crazy, Presidents, Smart, Solid, Stupid

The only thing dumber than a Democrat or a Republican is when those pricks work together. You see, in our two-party system, the Democrats are the party of no ideas and the Republicans are the party of bad ideas. It usually goes something like this. A Republican will stand up in Congress and say, 'I've got a really bad idea. ' And a Democrat will immediately jump to his feet and declare, 'And I can make it sh*ttier. '

Ideas, Make, Party, Republican, Two, Usually

Since there are so many idiots out there, you may actually start to think you're crazy. You are not. They are idiots.

Actually, Crazy, May, Start, Thinking

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

Coffee, Giving, Illusion, Like, Might

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

Convince, Groups, Leader, Leaders, People, Piss
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