A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority … - Stephen Colbert

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If I had won. . . all those other championships, my life might be totally different, but I didn't win. It's not going to affect my life.

Stephen Colbert

A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?

Children, Father, Model, Provider, Teacher

Same Author Quotes

Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.

Drinking, Gay, Way, Yes

If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.

Continue, Corporations, Exist, Government, Guarantees, People

You have a firm grasp of the obvious.

Firm, Grasp, Obvious

I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible — I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical.

Believe, Guy, Magical, Possible, Saws, Soleil

Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.

Blow, Give, Man, Men, Suicide, Teach

Similar Quotes

Paulo Coelho

The desert takes our dreams away from us, and they don't always return. We know that, and we are used to it. Those who don't return become a part of the clouds, a part of the animals that hide in the ravines and of the water that comes from the earth. They become part of everything. They become the Soul of the World.

Animal, Clouds, Dream, Encouragement, Everything, Used

Greg Norman

If I had won. . . all those other championships, my life might be totally different, but I didn't win. It's not going to affect my life.

Championships, Different, Golf, Totally, Winning

Pseudonymous Bosch

When I was younger, I loved graveyards. They weren't spooky so much as mysterious. Each tombstone another story to uncover. Another life to learn about. Now that I'm older - I won't say how old - I hate graveyards. The only life - or rather death - I see in the tombstones is my own.

Death, Hate, Old, Stories, Story, Tombstone

Alice Hoffman

Do you ever just put your arms out and just spin and spin and spin? Well, that's what love is like; everything inside of you tells you to stop before you fall, but for some reason you just keep going.

Arms, Fall, Like, Love, Love Is, Spin

Rene Auberjonois

The highest happiness is a by-product of worthy work well done.

Done, Wells, Work, Work Well Done, Worthy